Golden Week ga suki desu

Yes, it`s come around. A two-day week WOO-HOO! If anyone deserves a massive run of national holidays, it`s the Japanese. Funny bunch...the teachers always say to me "You must be exhausted", when they work at least three times as hard as me...

...this is one of the conundrums about Japanese people. Many publications try to dismiss their legendary uniqueness, but they all admit that they`re very different. It`s hard to tell, when they make comments like "You must be exhausted" to a non-Japanese, whether they`re doing it out of their general politeness & amiability, or if they believe the hype about themselves - that they are generally considered unique and inscrutable. That most Japanese work like a dogs mum is a given. Does this mean they consider that the rest of the world isn`t used to putting in as many hours? A moot point on it`s own, but the question is raised again when they marvel at my ability to use chopsticks - are they saying it just to be friendly, or do they really believe that no-one in the western world can use chopsticks? The same goes for my absurdly limited Japanese language skills - the fact that I can fumble around reading and writing the easiest (ie, limited in number) two of their THREE alphabets leaves all of them exhaling in an "I`m impressed" sort of way. Or maybe I`m thinking too much about a few isolated incidents that were really rather nice...

...but I`m straying from the point - Golden Week, and what an aptly named week. Today was Midori, or Green Day (Do you have the time to listen to me whine? Actually, if you`re reading this, you`re probably not rushed off your feet at the moment). This comemorates the birth of Emperor Showa, who died in 1989. The name of the festival comes from the fact that Showa really loved plants. On this day the Japanese celebrate nature, which probably means they`re all getting drunk in a park somewhere (sounds like an English bank holiday) - this will explain why Kawasaki city was relatively deserted today...I have not the funds to travel to a park OR get drunk. Oh well, payday on June the 1st...

On tuesday, it`s Kenpo Kinenbi, or constitution day, where they celebrate (?) the amendments they got to the constitution after the hammering of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Simple stuff - the Emperor renounces all executive powers & becomes a symbolic figurehead...if you really want to read the Japanese constituition, it can be accessed thus.

Wednesday is my favourite - Kokumin no kyujitsu, or between day, or "let`s just have a day off" day. A law says that any day inbetween two bank holidays is automatically considered a holiday. Who says the law is an ass?

Then on thursday it`s Kodomo no hi, or childrens day, but more accurately, boys day. This is when families display koi carp streamers & samurai dolls and pray for the future success of their sons. Lest cries of sexism be abundant, girls day is on the 3rd of March. Actually, Japan is most definitely a "men first" country. England being a ladies first country, I`ve spent a great deal of time outside doors with my female colleagues, the both of us gesturing politely towards the door and saying "dozo" quite a bit.

And if you want to find out more, why not look at this useful and informative website, where I got pretty much all the info for this entry...and a happy bank Holiday weekend to the lot of you - I`VE GOT THREE MORE, BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The Kawasaki Cock fest.

When I first heard of this I thought to myself, "Come now Chris, you`re being immature. They`re talking about roosters." How wrong I was. It`s all about cocks. All sizes, only one shape. According to Lonely Planet Japan, it celebrates a local prince rescuing a local maiden from the clutches of a not-so-local demon by de-flowering the lady in question with a gigantic wooden phallus. The demon seemingly lost interest after this. The maiden`s opinion of the turn of events isn`t recorded. Sadly I have missed the unique cultural experience of sitting astride a gargantuan cock Dr Strangelove style on a sunday, but I`ll be more than re-imbursed by the three day orgy of festivals that is golden week. No idea what to expect there though...I doubt there`ll be any cocks.

This has been quite a long weekend, but I`ve still had to be places. Well, one place - the Kawasaki Board of Education Centre. Officially I`m supposed to work on lesson plans, but I have more than enough time to do that at school & at home, so I spent a good portion of thursday and friday sitting around with various other ALT`s, mostly from America, but there`s a very jolly Welsh lady. We went out to a darts bar for one beer (and we all know what one beer turns into after "work") and ended up playing darts until some unspecified time in the evening. Japanese darts bars are a far cry away from all the connotations the sport (tee-hee) carries in the UK - no fat androgynous northerners for one. We met a keen player - typical elegant & demure Japanese lady with a demented cartoon giggle & purple darts to match her shoes, top and earings. Fairly dull weekend otherwise - been playing with my various domestic appliances - I think I`ve bought a shark steak...practicing kanji endlessly, blah, blah, blah...this entry appears to have tailed off a bit...Oooo yes. I met a microbiologist the other day. Boy, was he small...

A moral cunundrum?

I ate whale for the first time tonight. I feel no guilt - it was delicious. Save　the whales? Nah...

The domestication of man...and the earth moved.

It is nearly complete. All I need is a washing machine & a hoover. Then I shall be set. The hoover should be pretty straightforward, the washing machine on the other hand is a veritable abyss of rectal agonies. It`s not quite as simple as buying one of the bastards & sticking it in your kitchen, heavens no. There`s a fitting in my corner & the machine has to be the exact dimensions, length, breadth and height. The recycle shops, be they cheap, are decidedly hit & miss on that particular front, so I don`t think I have any choice but to get a new one, which will set me back a good ￥150,000 at least. Bloody ouch...

On the plus side, I am now the proud owner of a gas stove (decidedly less sashimi for me), a rice cooker, a fridge and a kettle-keep-water-warm thing. Made my first home-cooked Japanese meal on sunday - rice with seaweed, daikon, sesame seeds, omlette, cucumber and raw tuna (yum). Minutes after I`d finished, I (well, not just me...the whole of Oda actually) had my first earthquake. How can I describe it without stating the obvious? I can`t. The entire house shook. A number of thoughts rushed through my brain as everything I own rattled ominously. "Ooo, that`s a large truck. No wait, it`s a big gust of wind. Hang on, someone`s trying to steal my flat with a crane!" What it was only occured to me after the dust had settled, so to speak. Ueno san tells me that there are many different types of earthquake. This one was definitely horizontal. Vertical earthquakes are, apparently, very terrifying indeed. Can`t wait.

Started at a new school today - my first impressions are that I prefer my other school, Kyomachi. Rinko is just a bit rougher. This is reflected by the teachers, who seem to fit into the stereotype of heavy-drinking Japanese. I was introduced, not in literal but definitely in no uncertain terms to the "spliff-making teacher". When making the universally recognised sign for "I am rolling a spliff", people are prone to exaggerate, but the space inbetween this mans hands was frankly ludicrous. My heart went out to the english teacher I was left with (for a while) as he can`t control the class and the kids have little or no respect for him. Then he recycled his (put bluntly, appalling [says the mega-experienced teacher with two weeks under his belt]) lesson plan for all three levels of student, regardless of ability, and that`s not even considering the fact that this lesson just involves the kids copying stuff out of a book - where`s the practice? Oh, I`m not going to talk shop...going out for a cathartic drink with the english teachers tomorrow night (On a school night? Yes. Oh. Okay.). Thankfully I have a Board of Education meeting the following day, which will involve the very friendly Sato san jabbering in Japanese whilst the other ALT`s who can`t speak Japanese & myself look on in wonder, & then HOME. Potentially a three day week, woo-hoo.

Whew, that was a fat entry.

ONEGAISHIMASU!!

Sports day at Kyomachi school today, so I spent the entire day preparing a game of snap that involves regular & irregular verbs in the past & present tense for one of my 2nd grade classes. After nearly paralysing myself with over-indulgence of scissors & general chopstick fatigue, I discovered the electric guillotine at 16:45...I need to be wary of what I say in unguarded moments, lest I inadvertantly create a selection of Japanese teenagers who speak English just like me (heavens to murgatroyd). My main english teacher, Komada sensei (an all-round good egg) now thinks that the correct English for an electric guillotine is "a cutting device".

One of the kids in this particular class (2C) lives somewhere near me & clocked me whilst I was buying some food. Now he`s (one of) my new best mates - I got invited to lunch with his class, as they all eat in their homeroom. Great experience - hardly said a word because their English isn`t much beyond "how do you do? my name is...", and officially, I can`t speak Japanese (in order to get them to constantly use English). TWO (yes, two) of the kids gave me a massage & it was buggering brilliant.

So many kids with bizarre names to memorise. I`m beset with Ayami`s & Shiyu`s & Katsumi`s & Koru`s...it`s not fair...they all know MY name, but there`s only one Chris (an experience in of itself) and millions of them. Actually, there`s one girl, Netsumi, who`s seemingly made it her business to ensure that I remember her name. Amongst noisy, bossy, bolshy teenagers, this girl is Leviathan.

In closing? I am currently learning Kanji A Clockwork Orange style on the trains, "substituting" mind altering drugs with coffee. Twenty & counting...only a couple of thousand to go.

Hanko

A stamp, with your name in Kanji, hiragana or katakana which serves as a signature. Thought it would be useful as the guy who came to connect my gas supply looked at my Dr Death signature as if to say "what the hell is THAT?" So, as I applied for my hanko, I was asked if I wanted it in kanji, and then later told that the closest things to Kearton in kanji read "stupid devil" and "yellow asian pig". For a second I was severley tempted by "yellow asian pig" but, polite and possessed of a sense of humour as the Japanese are, I thought it was a bit risky...went for the katakana option instead...oh well.

Dozo...domo

In a much better mood than I was yesterday - hopefully this entry will actually publish...yesterdays entry, the eloquently titled "Fuckity-fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck" decided not to work, in keeping with the general spirit of the week.

Funny bunch, the Japanese. It`s taking two months to get connected to the internet, a month to get a landline, a month and a bit to get an alien registration card, a week to open a bank account, an hour to buy a mobile phone, but if I want to buy jeans at quarter to four in the morning, no bother.

Can`t complain though - they`re obscenely polite about everything & relentlessly jolly, despite working crazy hours. The Japanese work ethic is, by my standards at any rate, utterly bonkers, yet strangely enticing. I started at my first school yesterday and already the Kyoto sensei (Vice Principal) has me humble in his shadow of authority...without actually doing anything. Had to leave about five hours early today, to try and sort out my bloody apartment (yes, the saga continues...) and I`ve never felt so guilty about leaving work early. In the Library I`d have buggered off without a care in the world (sorry gals & sundry guys, but it`s true...) but here, the job carries a bit more weight. Talking to Ueno san (how is he still awake?) about the worst case scenario if negotiations with the landlord & the company go wrong - he tells me I`d have to leave the country & it would be a great financial loss to the board of education, the school and the company. On my individualistic high horse & utterly pissed off with Japanese bureaucracy, I say "It`ll be pretty infuriating for me too", to which he replies, in his inimitable non-committal manner, "Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah...." as if I`d merely grunted in response. Oh well, nice guy.